Dan Harmon Poops

Apr 02

Insomniblogapaloozafest

I can’t sleep, can you? Insomnia isn’t as fun as they make it sound in movies, it’s not like you get housework done. Wait, housework, what the fuck am I talking about, like I do housework. I don’t even know if there’s a difference between “can’t sleep” and “insomnia,” but whatever it is, it’s not like I’m not tired, it’s not like my eyes aren’t burning and my head doesn’t hurt. I feel the way I feel for those delightfully itchy ten seconds we usually don’t remember because they usually turn into sleep. Only this ten seconds lasting hours. Hours of listening to mental wind punctuated by scary sounds from various parts of the house. Just as I thumbed that, there was another one. I think the small fridge in the other room has periodic jolts but it also sounds exactly like a huge man in dirty coveralls holding a butcher knife that squeezed in through the doggy door is now just bumping into stuff while waiting for the right time to stab me.

Oh, god, there it is again. Is it the water heater? I have a tankless heater. And the air isn’t on. I think it’s something like that, though. Every eight minutes or so there’s this deep, short metallic rumble, but between rumbles, if I listen closely, I can hear what sounds like water flowing through pipes. Very faintly. The scary part is the second of the two rumbles because that one is louder and it’s whatever this thing is finishing, so it’s followed by silence. I’m only not deathly afraid of it anymore because it’s happening in a pattern. Weirdest butcher knife murderer in the world if he’s going to just keep doing this for hours. Almost an honor to be stab murdered by such a meticulous artist.

I was asleep earlier, deeply asleep, and Erin woke me up. I’ve learned and demonstrated the hard way that people should limit their internet transparency to the boundaries of their own lives so you’ll just have to trust me when I say I am marrying the asshole I deserve, who is now fast asleep while I count phantom stabby man rumbles and the uneasy seconds between them.

My worst nightmare is home invasion. it combines every fear I have except spiders. Loss of control, especially to someone dumber than me -

Holy shit I finally made myself tired have to go bye!

Mar 26

Nietzsche Rephrased -

a-page-of-mind:

“No one is accountable for existing at all, or for being constituted as he is, or for living in the circumstances and surroundings in which he lives. The fatality of his nature cannot be disentangled from the fatality of all that which has been and will be. He is not the result of a special…

Mar 24

brentbs:

dolola:

Too ridiculous

Too ridiculously awesome.

brentbs:

dolola:

Too ridiculous

Too ridiculously awesome.

(Source: baconbroderick, via listgenerator)

Mar 14

jenniferstolzer:

"Summer! I don’t need you protecting me! Rick and me- Rick and I do this stuff all the time! I’m a experienced science adventurer! Tell ‘er, Rick!"
"God, Morty, just shut up and run."

I like this Rick and Morty art.  Feels like a bedtime story.

jenniferstolzer:

"Summer! I don’t need you protecting me! Rick and me- Rick and I do this stuff all the time! I’m a experienced science adventurer! Tell ‘er, Rick!"

"God, Morty, just shut up and run."

I like this Rick and Morty art. Feels like a bedtime story.

Mar 06

communitylego:

Community in LEGO presents:
Shirley (Miniland Scale)
Check the blog for more!

communitylego:

Community in LEGO presents:

Shirley (Miniland Scale)

Check the blog for more!

Mar 04

[video]

Mar 01

mitzi—may:

when male writers create “strong female characters” that show hints of feminism without ever calling it feminism.

when said strong female characters go ahead and slut shame and spray hate all over other women.

image

I’m still waiting to hear what happens when these crimes are committed by a TV show you’re watching.  

I suppose when these transgressions occur, you eventually rise up above the all-consuming horde and …

….post an animated GIF.  Of a person on a different TV show rolling their eyes.  

It’s a bummer to me that I can broadcast 30 minutes of content through a gauntlet of state and corporate-imposed boundaries and still somehow manage to enrage a real person.

It’s a bummer to me that a real person, without restriction, with nobody policing what they say or how they say it, can sit down to make their voice known, and end up…posting a complaint about a sitcom.  A sitcom on a network that predates our grandparents, from a company that makes stereos, games and phones.

Everything’s a bummer to me, but I try to focus on what makes me happy and what I’m able to control.  Now imagine a GIF of me shitting on your face and tell your parents I said “you’re welcome.”

Feb 26

New Channel 101 for Feb. 2014 Is Here -

thecomedybureau:

Channel 101's latest batch for this month is here and shows Car Jumper and NY Stories are still deservedly top finishers. 

As always, if you’re not familiar with Dan Harmon and Rob Schrab's independent monthly short form series that's been running for more than a few years, then please do acquaint yourself with hours of hilarious awesomeness.

(via channel101tumblr)

Feb 24

“My characters aren’t losers. They’re rebels. They win by their refusal to play by everyone else’s rules.” —

Harold Ramis

Today, we mourn of the loss of Harold Ramis, one of the most influential comedy directors of all time

(via tribecafilm)

Feb 22

vamosvideo:

“True character is revealed in the choices a human being makes under pressure - the greater the pressure, the deeper the revelation, the truer the choice to the character’s essential nature. But this? Using scissors to cut off the tip of a slice of pizza? I don’t know what this is. ”
― Robert McKee, Story: Substance, Structure, Style and the Principles of Screenwriting

vamosvideo:

“True character is revealed in the choices a human being makes under pressure - the greater the pressure, the deeper the revelation, the truer the choice to the character’s essential nature. But this? Using scissors to cut off the tip of a slice of pizza? I don’t know what this is. ”


― Robert McKeeStory: Substance, Structure, Style and the Principles of Screenwriting

(Source: two-fisted-dynamo, via listgenerator)