I’m so awed by this I had to make him get me a non-fat latte.  Congrats, @daveseger!

I haven’t been following this story, but as a noted follower of Campbell, I know a hero when I see one.  (via steveagee)

Mondy Carter posted photos of our old improv troupe, The Dead Alewives, on his Facebook page. No matter what anyone tells me, I’ll never be convinced that it’s not weird to be young and then old.

The Dead Alewives had roughly three “eras,” and Rob Schrab and I were part of the middle one. It was just after I dropped out of Marquette University and just before we moved to L.A. So, ‘92 to ‘97.

We were a tribe of savages traversing a frozen wasteland in search of spotlights, and at some point, we gave each other savage nicknames. Our names were supposed to represent, in the purest way, the things we liked least about ourselves. My nickname, for instance, was Fat, and Schrab was Bald. The idea being, I think, that if your friends call you what an enemy might, your enemies are powerless against you. Years earlier, black culture would steal our idea.

Mondy Carter was “Stiff.” Bo Johnson was “Job” (a reference to an inside joke at his expense). The lanky Peter Alberts was “Long” and Kurt Scholler was “Clue.”

What never made a great deal of sense to anyone is why Sean McKenna got to be “Big Cock.” He never seemed particularly ashamed of his cock, he was always showing it to everyone. Last time I talked to him, he was in advertising, which makes a lot of sense, and makes the nickname make sense retroactively.

If you have used any of these, you owe me the amount listed or I will sue you:

Very Normal Activity $6,000

Fairly Horrible Activity $600

Paranormal Nativity $13,000

Barely Moral Activity $1,000

Para My Country ‘Tis of Thee $7

Hairy Squirrel Activity $190

Parasail Activity $16.95

Pair of Balls Activity $12

Married Oral Activity $2,000

Pear in Dorm Room Activity $6

And a friendly reminder that the following Blair Witch spoofs owe me the specified amount for the rights to their titles:

Blair From Facts of Life Project $600

Nair Witch Project $2

Hair Witch Project $5

Stair Hitch Project $2

Eclaire Snitch Project $2

Harry Quittage Project $70

Queer Bitch Project $1

Rare Glitch Project $1

Wear Stitch Project - free with $10 purchase or more

Blair Witch Silly Comedy Project $200

steveagee:

You know the name of your store means to go crazy and start shooting people, right?

Bruce Willis Surrogates (gonna get ya) Comin’ from the end of time Bruce Willis Surrogates (comin’ at ya) You know I’m gonna take what’s mine!

Hello, old man. It’s me, the guy in the speeding silver Prius you’re constantly grimacing at.

I’m going about 20 mph. Okay? It’s not that fast. I’m never going to hit you.

I keep forgetting to Tumble.  I should Tumble more.  Is that what it’s called?

kelsyabbott:

He “won’t” fuck the dead bodies.

You can tell a lot about a writer from the contents of the dry erase board in his office.  Neil showed me this a few weeks ago.  Location: GARRET’S OFFICE.

Don’t cry for me.  I was born with a target on my head.  But poor fucking Dino.  Look at the size of those parentheses.